It´s been years now. I´m suffering from some genetical disorder. According to what I´ve seen, vast majority of people have all kinds of disorders. Well, I´m one of them ones who are in pain. From the inside, my lower spine hurts uncontrollably. From the outside, there’s a bloody rash tearing my skin. Coming from nowhere. Stops only to serve another part of false hope, to strike again unexpected. Day by day. It destroyed everything I was before, but my spirit and will. I had to adapt, I had to improvise, I had to find a way to live a life. Abandoned. Untrusted.
I´ve suffered much because the system we´re living in stands on lies, influence, manipulation, and an illusion of safety. My wife was the only person who believed in me back then when it started, because she´s been living with me, she seen it from the very beginning. There was a time I punched walls, to redirect the pain. It´s not crazy if it´s not psychological, like when some people have the need to hurt themselves, that wasn´t my case. My condition has got “compensated” with the right medication, but I started to be reclusive. I had nothing to talk about with other people, and they seemed disturbed just by me being nearby.
So in the loneliness I found… Myself. I found peace with myself. And I learned enough to stop being afraid of death. Tesla and many others are right, everything is a frequency, everything consists of dualities, we live in paradoxes and that´s okay.
I strongly believe (based on personal experience and study) we are not only bones and meat. I hope it´s okay to refer to Tech N9ne´s E.B.A.H., but there are many other great creators talking about dualities driving them crazy… Everyone feels it, deep inside, there is much more than just a brain. The brain can be controlled and programmed, the spirit has much better protection. I know as much as we (human beings) are supposed to study, to observe, to love things around us. Based on that we are able to control and protect. Such as the whole planet.
Some people are trying and that´s good…
Every word above is to explain my mindset and answer the question “Why Begleri?” The Universe, my inner me, or something brought me to Begleri when times were difficult. I spent so much time in hospital waiting rooms. Time tends to freeze in situations like this. As soon as I learned some basic flips and wraps, I discovered that Begleri is the only thing able to move the damn time… Shortly it became a friend of mine, a part of me, two planets circling around my fingers, in my own universe. It gave me new goals to accomplish, new people to try to relate to.
That was only the beginning. Begleri is a talisman, allowing me to rise above all the pressure and to be grateful for the things that I have. If you carry one for some time, there are experiences written in it, reminding you… reminding me that I don´t have to seek help, the pain will go away after some time… Reminding me the times in hospital waiting rooms, making me realize how far I´ve got, how strong I am. During cold, dark nights, I tend to get lost in the melancholy maze.
Can´t sleep, counting seconds, head full of desperate thoughts, spine hurts, muscles on legs spazzing, eyes scanning the endless darkness of my room… There is one star glowing in the night. The glowing-cord Begleri I recently made! I let the pressure go. I let the frustration go. I don´t want that. I want to hear some good music and see this glowing set blurring on my invisible fingers, keeping the tempo with the songs. Maybe try and do some aerials with it! I have my bag of comfortable, tricks I can do even when it´s 3am, nothing can go wrong. So I sling to sooth my soul.