Obsession 5

My fits kick in randomly and without warning. It’s not spasms of particular muscles and random shouts, it’s like…periods of time, minutes, maybe hours, where I literally cannot control my behavior.

I’m aware of what’s happening.

I’m aware I’m bothering others and embarrassing people.

I’m aware I’m an adult and should be beyond this.

Despite my awareness, the fits still come, and there’s never a good time to have one.

I had to find something to combat them, and so I searched. I have picked up and thrown aside so many different hobbies it’s a joke amongst my family and friends. Nothing really seemed to help. I remember being on medication when I was a child and that just sucked. I never want to go back to narcotics as a solution. There has to be a way to handle this. To tame the dragon.

And so I dug, and dug, and dug. I tried finding something that would give me an outlet physically that wasn’t bothersome to others but also something mentally stimulating so my mind remained occupied enough to be distracted during my fits. If I could get distracted, the fits dissipated.

So now I knew the secret, but not how to consistently initiate it.

I tried Rubik’s Cubes (not enough fun) and fidget spinners (not enough variation), balisongs (not enough safety) and journaling (not enough action), and so many other options. While I was searching I came across a link to something I’d never seen before: begleri.

I was up for anything and so I checked it out and…obsession.

I had something fun.

I could play with it anywhere.

I could use it with music.

I could get it in cool colors.

I could express my own artistic concepts.

I could learn tricks.

I could create new tricks.

I could build new ideas on top of old concepts.

I had a community that cared about what I had to offer. I was getting genuine support from rookies and elite slingers alike. I was being included in bigger things than myself.

I had something that helped my fits. I could pull against the leads for aggressive tension. I could spin the cord slow for relaxation. I could calm my nerves with the tug against my fingers, like a weighted blanket for my thoughts.

Begleri changed my life. With a mental handicap and almost complete social ineptitude, I was the guy in the back, not by choice, but because my actions and conversations isolated me. Now, this “tool” was working for me. It was taming the dragon. Something was working!

My relationship with begleri became like my relationship with God. I wish I had discovered it years earlier; I wish I could convince everyone of its benefits; I wish I could put it in each and every person’s hand. I wish, I wish, I wish, but alas I can’t force people. I can’t make them take it. I can only tell them my story and hope they’ll try it for themselves.

So tell someone your story, and let’s tell the world about begleri, our obsession, together.

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